I've been watching cable tv all day because my in-laws are out of town and when they go out of town, we spend at least one day watching their cable and swimming in their pool. When I've talked about watching tv before, I've been talking about watching streaming tv on the internet, which is a totally different animal: there's a minor amount of commercials and you have to search out whatever crappy show you want to watch. With cable, though, you're just flipping the channels and...Wham! You come across a show like The Mermaid Girl about a girl born with her legs fused together, unable to surgically part them, and her family's struggle to deal. And I have very mixed feelings about this show. Is it exploitive? Presumably, the show is giving the family money for filming them and they're raising awareness for the disease. But it's very hard to see that aspect when the camera keeps recording this girl scootching her 'mermaid tail' across the floor and I'm so glad the show gives her the name, Mermaid Girl, because it feels wrong to describe her. She has a flipper. If you've seen Brain Candy, the old Kids in the Hall movie, then you, too, have enjoyed a good flipper baby joke. But to see this girl is so much more disturbing than the flippers-for-hands image that Flipper Baby elicits. But I feel bad for feeling so disturbed-- she's a six year old girl. Anyway, after ten minutes of gaping, I gather the strength of will to tear my eyes away and change the channel. Deep breath of relief.
Then I fall into a "What Not to Wear" pit because it's featuring a 36 year old mom and I'm hoping that she looks just like me so the tips will be appropriate the next time I win a $1000 shopping spree at J. Crew (it could happen, right?). Then I spend the next fifteen minutes worrying that I do look just like her with the frizzy hair, pudgy legs, disappearing chin, and protruding tummy.
After a few hours of switching between bits of movies I've already seen, tivo'd episodes of Ugly Betty, and Celebrity Fitness episodes (Erik Estrada still has it, that cutie pie), I got excited when Super Nanny came on. I love watching other people parent their children. Love it. I can't even explain the deep satisfaction I get from watching well-meaning parents holding their kicking and screaming children in time out or yelping when they get bitten by a two year old. Yes, I think with grim pleasure, bite that bad mommy.
It hurts me how much time I've wasted today and how dark is the chasm that used to be my soul. I feel like the tv is trying to catch my attention by catering to the worst aspects of my character. If cable tv were a mirror, I would feel ashamed. While I've been typing this, Kent came along and took control of the remote control and now his soul is shining through-- a Johnny Cash biography and mixed martial arts fights.
Musings of Motherhood
About Me
- Kellie Bonifield
- Supporting characters: Kent, husband extraordinaire with, thankfully, a wonderful set of genes including strong cheekbones and the ability to eat anything and stay slim and muscle-y which has been inherited by... Tallulah, a blond curled, angelic looking four and a half year old with a huge smile and penchant for action. She often, to my dismay, demands to be called a princess-- but only if princesses run, jump, climb trees, defend friends from bullies, and are always right. Moxie, the baby. Organized and schedule oriented, Moxie will be recieving a drool-impervious day planner for her first birthday. She is bemused by her sister's antics and often hums herself to sleep.
