Now, I'm sure there are studies and technical data about the pounds per inch needed to chop off a finger and how much pressure scissors can exert, yadda yadda yadda. But this would entail much more research than this subject warrants. So I've designed my own protocol-- Safety Scissors for Dummies. Like the choking standard about not giving a baby anything small enough to fit into a toilet paper roll. Which never really worked for me because on my paranoid days I shove everything into the toilet paper rolls including Moxie's four inch stuffed monkey. And testing Moxie's stuffed monkey as a potential choking hazard is stupid because I would probably notice her cramming the monkey down her throat before it got so far I couldn't fish it back out again with my fingers. Probably.
My own scissor test is simple: how easily can you cut a carrot with your scissors? I dragged out my four year old's safety scissors, my own super awesome scissors, and a couple of carrots. Then I sat down with Tallulah and started chopping fingers...I mean, carrots.
Here's the scoop: I was able to cut the carrots with both my scissors (easily, quickly, and decisively) and Tallulah's scissors (slowly with lots of sawing action.) Tallulah was unable to cut the carrot with her safety scissors even after lots of sawing and chanting of "cut, cut, cut!" And even my super scissors were difficult for her to get enough pressure to cut the carrot. She was eventually able to cut the carrot, but only after a lot of sawing and chanting and I think whoever's finger she's trying to lop off would probably notice, what with the blood and the pain and the screaming.
Conclusion: That column in parenting magazine was total bullshit unless the dad regularly pits his children against one another, tells them to prove which one is the more manly child, then locks them in a room with freshly sharpened scissors and ignores the screaming. In which case, sure. It could happen to you.
