Yesterday I spent the entire day contracting painfully about ten minutes apart. In the morning I was at Tallulah's preschool being "an owl in the tree" which meant I was observing the class. During storytime I was squirming more than the 3-5 year olds. Should I stay? Should I pull Tallulah early? Is this real labor or just more Braxton-Hicks? If I wait to know for sure its real labor, will I be able to drive myself and Tallulah home safely?
I'm in this weird mind-space where every day I contract regularly and I think, "Is this a good day to go into labor?" I think about where Kent will be, where Grandma is (she's taking Tallulah when labor happens), where my midwife is, whether I've gotten enough rest, etc...
A lot of this is Tallulah. She needs to go places like the park and school and I want to spend quality time with her, but I don't want to be too far away from home since we have to get Tallulah to her grandma's (by 'we' I mean Kent or Grandma will come pick her up.) I don't want to be in hard labor with Tallulah around. I don't want to worry about how she'll react to me in labor. What I want is for the baby's arrival to be joyous and exciting for her, not a realization of the pain mommy goes through.
It's hard to even think about the reality of a BABY because I'm so busy in my head thinking about the timing and the logistics.
Yesterday, in the evening when I was still contracting we shipped Tallulah off to Grandma's and I thought, "ok, this is perfect. The perfect time to go into labor." And then I didn't.
Musings of Motherhood
About Me
- Kellie Bonifield
- Supporting characters: Kent, husband extraordinaire with, thankfully, a wonderful set of genes including strong cheekbones and the ability to eat anything and stay slim and muscle-y which has been inherited by... Tallulah, a blond curled, angelic looking four and a half year old with a huge smile and penchant for action. She often, to my dismay, demands to be called a princess-- but only if princesses run, jump, climb trees, defend friends from bullies, and are always right. Moxie, the baby. Organized and schedule oriented, Moxie will be recieving a drool-impervious day planner for her first birthday. She is bemused by her sister's antics and often hums herself to sleep.
