Psychological Experiments

Who doesn't like conducting pychological experiments on their children?

I was reading about delayed gratification on Wikipedia and it was talking about a marshmallow experiment used to predict emotional intelligence, the ability to delay gratification, even general test taking skills in four year olds.

I'd just bought marshmallows because graham crackers were on sale-- 2 for 1!-- the day I did the week's shopping (Sunday) and by Wednesday I'd had to run out and buy the chocolate and marshmallows to go with them. I mean, I waited until Wednesday, so I show the ability to delay gratification right? Let's ignore for the moment that I'm on a diet to lose the baby weight and we never should have had graham crackers in the house in the first place because I always have the urge to turn them into s'mores. We're not talking about impulse control, we're talking about delayed gratification! Hmm. Wait a minute...

Anyway.

I look at the marshmallows. I look at my four year old. I read more about how my daughter, if she can resist a marshmallow for 20 minutes, is destined for a life of joy, peace, and prosperity. And how, if she can't resist, she's bound to be a crack whore with 11 illegitimate babies fathered by former members of the Wu-Tang Clan. So I do it. I sit her down in front of a marshmallow and tell her she'll get two marshmallows if she waits until I get back to eat it. Then I take the marshmallows and leave the room to munch on them for twenty minutes.

After twenty minutes I have alleviated my fears of handing grandbabies over to Raekwon for visitation weekends. She resists! But I start to wonder, how well do these experimenters know four year olds? Because this same four year old snuck all of the Christmas presents from under the tree into her room for a frenzy of pre-Christmas gift opening. And maybe her ability to resist had to do with the s'mores she'd been eating with mommy all afternoon. Does the experiment count if her face is covered in chocolate?

I guess I'll have to wait about 18-30 years to see if her life is peaceful, joyful, and filled with prosperity. But if you want to test your own ability to defer gratification, check out this psychological test.